I am spending my child support on dildos
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
