My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
