They should really pass out barf bags in church
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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