The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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