RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
