It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
