yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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