i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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