Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
