i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
