Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
operation harelip BJ is a go
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
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i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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