i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
