so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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