It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
wow bdsm is so cute
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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