so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
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Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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