Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Did I show you my penis last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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