everyone is single if you try hard enough
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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