Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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