Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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