discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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