Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize