we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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