***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
