matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I love you. Go after that dick
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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