Dual....:-)
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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