I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
