Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
