You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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