she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
