just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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