There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize