Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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