She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize