i may or may not be watching the land before time
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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