Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize