after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
