you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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