I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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