I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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