Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
