And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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