Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
