Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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