girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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