imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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