Christians are straight up FREAKS
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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