i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
