He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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