So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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