Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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