Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He felt like a one man threesome
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
