I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
