What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
