i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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