Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
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we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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