I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You pole danced in your parka.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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