I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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